Scars of Love
by Izzu
Summary: Triangle. Sachi mused to herself about Goda Ryuji, with relation to herself... as well as Sachie.


I love the drama a lot. So after a year and something-eh, it's longer than that, isn't it?-I finally wrote some. Just to satisfy myself. Hahahahahaha~ This should set around ep 9.

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><p><span>Scars of Love<span>

Written by Izzu

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At first, she was annoyed at Goda Ryuji because of the things that happened between them. She knew that he disliked her continuing to live as Katsuragi Sachie despite she was just Sachi. But it was not as if she had wished for her to die like that, she have not even _knew_ her then. And right now, living as _her_was the only thing she had... and also what had supported her adoptive mother.

She had disliked Goda Ryuji still, especially since he seemed to have treasured Sachie-san very much. Why would he not see her as herself any more and not as someone who pretended to be the person he used to love?

Perhaps that was what made her want to uncover the truth of Katsuragi Sachie-san's murder. Because that should free her from _her_ shadow, and might as well free _him. _Or maybe, it was because of _that_letter...

"_And also, there's this boy sitting beside me. He's always so rude, but... he's really nice. About Goda Ryoji-kun, don't ever... forget about him. Always... always, treasure and watch over him. This is a secret I'll never tell anyone. Goda Ryoji-kun was... my first love._"

Somehow, a part of her felt envy. Katsuragi Sachie-san, despite having been murdered so young... was able to know the younger Goda Ryoji-san. She also got to know many friends that seemed to love her so much. If Sachie-san have not been killed, if somehow her own circumstances had been different; if she had a chance to know all these people much earlier... would that have been nice? Sachie-san seemed to be someone nice as well, looking at the things she wrote in the letter. And Goda-san from that time as well... somehow, she wanted to be able to meet that kind of Goda-san.

From the very beginning, at the moment when Goda had revealed his intention for approaching her... she knew it. Katsuragi Sachie... was someone Goda held very dear to his heart. She could feel it coming from him. She knew he disliked her continuing to use Sachie's name as if it was her own. Yet she was jealous of _her_. Even until now, Goda continued to remember her. If her feelings were right and coupled with Sachie's confession, it seemed both Goda and Sachie's thoughts and feeling towards each other were mutual.

She was jealous of that. All these times, a part of her was happy to have Goda be concerned about her. Even if that was because he saw Sachie instead of her, even if he did all that because of Sachie-san; she would like to believe that Goda sincerely cared about her. That time spent in Paris, she would like to believe that Goda had cared for her then. A part of her, wanted to have Goda to herself. But as long as Sachie was in his heart, she could never... ever compete.

But perhaps... things like that do not matter. Who had loved Goda Ryoji first... who had loved him later, things like that do not matter. What was important now, was that she was able to remain by Ryoji's side. In place of Sachie-san who did not manage to grow up to be her adult self, she would be watching over Ryoji-san instead. Protecting him.

After so long, the first person whom he opened his heart to... was her, Sachi. That should be enough. Even if she would forever be in second place after Sachie, she was with Ryoji at the present... wasn't it?

Yet to protect him, perhaps she had gone too far. But at least she managed to smile again. At least she could still see his smile again, even for a short while. There was no regret, though she wished she could still be able to see Ryoji smile even more in the days after this.

If there was actually something that she would regret, perhaps of the fact her dying would add on to the scars Ryoji already had. Even if she tried to say that it was all right...  
><em><br>Sachie-san...  
><em>_  
>Please continue to watch over Ryoji-san...<br>_  
>For both of our sakes.<em>_


End file.
